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One Side: Beth

At times she films me while having a meal. I’ll see myself on her social media – it feels like a jumpscare.

My best friend of 10 years, she, calls herself the “content queen”. It can be amusing for a short while, but it weighs on our relationship.

She is an extrovert, she feels the need to document everything all the time. During meals out, she says, “The phone eats first,” and takes photos with bright lighting, which induces embarrassment. I don’t like it when strangers see her performing for the camera – I experience vicarious awkwardness. It also frustrates me because the food gets cold.

She isn’t exactly an influencer yet, but she is aspiring to become one. She makes video blogs about city life, her daily routine, and her styling career. Her content is good, I’ll give her that, but I prefer not to be involved. On occasion she films me while I’m eating, or just accompanying her. I’ll see myself on her Instagram afterwards, and it pops up like a jumpscare: I might be bare-faced, making a strange expression or photographed mid-bite. It feels invasive.

She also anticipates that I will to record her at inconvenient times. Often I'm in conversation to another person, or we’ll just be spending time in the street. The dynamic feels like our bond has turned into me being her free crew. She could easily employ someone if she wanted high-quality content. When I brought up my unease about this arrangement, she brushed it off. She’s taken me to several industry functions, which was nice, but that doesn't compensate for all the time and effort I invest helping her make content.

I’m grateful that she has helped me with my design career, but I resist our friendship to become just a ledger of exchanges. I don’t feel she's insincere or dishonest, but sometimes I feel that if the camera is out, we will start performing in a way that makes us look good for her channel.

Her directive is, “OK, look happy!” and record me laughing with another. It’s so silly. It's crucial her to recognize that our 10-year friendship still has limits. I love being with her, but I also desire to enjoy it without being filmed, edited, or shared for an audience. I am not a prop for her Instagram.

The Defence: Marielle

I want Beth to see that the content we produce together can get us a foot in the door.

I love creating videos. It's more than a pastime; it’s part of who I am. Producing content and documenting experiences online allows me to express myself and connect with people in novel forms.

I don’t see myself as a full influencer yet, but it's savvy to make money from your passions. I look up to people on TikTok who pull off that aesthetic of casual, DIY film-making.

Creating content is my version of engaging with life: observing the details, posting them with an audience that appreciates the craft behind it. I never intend to make Beth uncomfortable. Bringing her to industry events was my method of offering access, providing her a chance to witness behind-the-scenes moments that could help her professional path too. That isn't blackmail, it’s just being realistic.

I’d still take her to such functions even if she refused to assist me, but I want her to see the benefits the content we make together can achieve: an opening. I understand not all people likes being on camera, but often spontaneity is what makes material authentic. Appearing on video from time to time is part and parcel of being my companion. I'd remove anything she requested, but she has never asked yet.

I don't demand anybody to be my personal filmmaker, but companions help each other in small ways. My assumption was recording a short video here or there would be enjoyable for Beth. Innovation flourishes in collaboration, and having Beth around makes projects energetic and pleasurable. I never force her to participate in anything, and I would never deliberately embarrass her. But filming together sometimes is part of how I document our shared experiences.

I value our friendship profoundly and want to avoid making videos to drive a wedge between us. I am ready to compromise: like requesting permission before recording, and steering clear of angles that might make her self-conscious.

This is not about control, it’s about expressing my perspective while still considering hers. Clearly making content is not a substitute for real connection: it’s just part of how I experience life and I want her to be involved in a way that’s enjoyable for both of us.

The Jury: Public Sentiment

Is it right for her to stop filming herself and her friend when they are socializing?

Nothing is more uncomfortable than having a companion point a camera at you. I understand that it’s Marielle’s passion, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my workplace. Perhaps she can find influencer friends to create content with. With the uncertain future of AI, personal relationships are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
Liberty, 25

When pursuing something as a career, you can’t ask your friends for help repeatedly, even if they have done it before. While she enjoys creating, that doesn’t mean everyone around her is content. She must to honor her friend's personal space.
Another reader, 26

She may enjoy making content and displaying her life publicly, but it isn't for everybody. It’s nice she has assisted Beth’s career, but she needs to hear what her friend desires.
A commenter, 27

It sounds like you value each other, so cling to that and make sure it’s the priority in your relationship. Create some real experiences, where true emotions are stored, not digital scrapbooks. Even celebrities who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more secrecy than it appears.
Sarah, 53

Marielle appears to be neither present nor authentic when they're together – she's on the job. Both seem unsure as to where the line is. The answer is not found in trying to alter one another, but in each establishing clear limits around what is comfortable to them and determining if there is an acceptable compromise.
A final view, 71

Now You Be the Judge

Consider this question: has she been exploiting their bond?