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The current year signifies a full decade since the word “ghosting” hit the common lexicon. Back then, the notion that someone could instantly end communication with a lover without any notice seemed like the peak of disrespect. How naive we were. In the decade since, navigating toward a partner has only become more perplexing – an commonly pointless pursuit in humiliation that is increasingly defined by online jargon.

Gen Z, a generation who grew up during a social isolation crisis, a masculinity reckoning, and a concerted attack on the freedoms of females and the queer community, faces a significantly more chaotic landscape than their Gen Y predecessors could ever envision. And so their dating glossary has grown longer and more deranged, with terms like “Ogre-ing” and “monkey branching” testing the limits of your sanity.

Below is a comprehensive guide to the terms this generation is using to navigate love, sex and the search of both. To paraphrase one of the recent most viral memes, by the end of this glossary you’ll ache to get back to simpler times – because where that is, it doesn’t have “wokefishing”.

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The Letter A

Realness – In the view of Zoomers, romance's ideal is presenting as your real, unfiltered self. Best wishes with that!

The Letter B

Bird theory – A TikTok trend connected to a methodology developed by relationship scientists, in which you bring up something insignificant – for example, “A bird flew by earlier” – and note whether your partner’s reply is interested or dismissive. If they show no desire to hear more about the bird, you two are doomed.

Black cat girlfriend – Gen Z’s answer to the “manic pixie dream girl” trope of the early 2000s – but rather than having baby bangs, liking indie music and eschewing commitment, the black cat girlfriend puts herself first while exuding mystery and self-sufficiency. (She may yet have baby bangs.)

C

Support test – This signifies choosing someone who aids you unprompted. If you walked into a room, they would get a chair for you to take a load off.

Choremance – A outing where two people form a link while handling tasks, such as walking the dog or grocery shopping. In other words, how broke twentysomethings do budget-friendly romance in a post-cheap-date world.

Emotional spiral – Losing it when you feel burdened by life. You can spiral over a crush or breakup, venting all of your unreciprocated emotions.

D

Dink – Double income, no kids. Once a symbol of 80s yuppie affluence, it refers to couples who forgo parenthood to focus on their own fulfillment. Or because they cannot afford to become parents.

The Letter E

Open communication – The antithesis of playing it cool: embracing communication, honesty and openness.

The Letter F

Indicators

• Danger signals – Behavioral habits suggesting a prospective partner is not right. Examples include calling their exes crazy, poor gratuity habits, a love of controversial director films, a new DJ career …
• Good indicators – These actions confirm your choice to date a mate. Examples include following up to make sure you got home safe after a date, minimal screen time, having a proper bed …
• Odd but harmless traits – These typically describe niche, largely benign quirks. For instance being an keen birdwatcher, still keeping a pen in their bag, paying rent in cash …

Niche bonding – When you find someone who’s just as enthusiastic about films about the second world war or DVD collecting or collaging or whatever it may be, as you. Or, on the flip side, meeting someone who despises the same things or people that you do (few things fosters intimacy faster than sharing a nemesis).

The Letter G

The band Geese – A band a typical Zoomer guy listens to.

Phantom reappearing – Someone who pops back into your life after a period of silence.

Golden retriever boyfriend – Someone who is friendly, eager to please and devoted. The uncommon boyfriend who is liked by all of his significant other's friends, and a black cat girlfriend's counterpart.

Prolonged session enthusiasts – A primarily online community of men so obsessed with masturbation that they attempt marathon sessions, deliberately delaying orgasm so they can go on as long as possible.

H

Heterofatalism – A mindset describing many women's increasing pessimism toward straight relationships. It will come as little surprise to anyone who read the previous entry.

High-value woman – An archetype touted by online male influencer figures: a woman who is attractive, ever-comforting and contentedly domestic, who apparently has no ambitions of her own other than pleasing her male partner. Perhaps now you’re beginning to see the whole “heterofatalism” thing better?

The Letter I

Turn-offs – Random and usually everyday turnoffs that immediately shut down any sense of interest.

“He would if he cared" – Something to keep in mind after you watch someone else receive an extremely thoughtful display.

The Letter J

Jobs – These have not been this important in the romance landscape since the greed-is-good era. For some women, a “finance bro” is the ideal partner: a fleece-vest-wearing, conservative-leaning guy who will be a provider (there’s a popular TikTok audio on the topic). Meanwhile the anti-capitalist crowd opt for partners in professions they believe are being staffed by the more nurturing among us: nurses, educators or therapists.

K

Locking lips – This year, scientists learned that kissing has existed for 16 million years. But the days of kissing may be numbered since some Zoomers prefer fewer sex scenes in movies, as they are having less sex themselves and do not find cinematic romance authentic.

Enhanced profile crafting – Mild deception. Or, not exactly lying about who you are, but maybe using outdated (better) pictures of yourself on a dating app profile, or making your career sound more prestigious than it is. Also known as {